"Not till we are lost, in other words, not till we have lost the world, do we begin to find ourselves, and realize where we are and the infinite extent of our relations. "- Thoreau
For most of my life I had no idea how truly unhappy, sad and angry I was. At some point, I began to realize something was “off.” I didn’t know what exactly but I knew I needed to do something different. That realization started me on an amazing journey which continues to unfold.
The journey began with a search for some sense of happiness. Along the way I became more ‘self’ aware and noticed how I was creating my own unhappiness. I studied The Course in Miracles which changed my life dramatically. Later I found Inquiry and the inquiry process of The Work of Byron Katie. I began to realize the power that thought had over my life. Thoughts that I believed about myself, other people and situations in my life was creating my unhappiness.
As I inquired into beliefs and realized they were all untrue they melted away and I found life was less confusing. I became very curious as I sat in question after question.
During this time I read many books in the “spiritual” realm. I spent time with Tara Singh, Bill Bauman, Byron Katie, Adyashanti, and Gangji.
The longing to realize Truth for myself has kept me immersed in inquiry. Life supports me by providing the situations and circumstances that have been needed so I can “dive in” again and again to see what is really true and come Home. Sadness, anger, grief and a variety of other emotions are experienced and are now welcomed rather than rejected. I experience the free fall of “I don’t know” and feelings of being lost with no frame of reference. Getting comfortable with all of this has been part of the challenge and i wouldn’t trade a minute of it. It has led to realizing Self/Truth/Love/Life.
Following My Heart and Jumping off Cliffs
Over the years I have followed my Heart which has required jumping off a few cliffs into the unknown. It hasn’t always been easy but it has led me to amazing and life changing experiences. I have changed career paths a few times, moved more frequently than I thought possible, and explored new ways of living in the world. A few of those jumping off cliff moments are listed below. It has become part of how life is lived.
- I changed both my first and last name at the age of 38. I chose “Maggie” because I loved it and the name “Carter” because it was the maiden name of a favorite great aunt.
- I left the secure and wonderful job of classroom teacher and director of staff development to start my own consulting business at the age of 45.
- For my 50th year my then-husband and I took a year away from regular life to travel around the world with just a backpack. It was a magical, spiritual, adventurous journey. If you want to read about this journey you can go to Amazon to see Joe’s book “Bus Rides, Baguettes and Buddhas.”
- I left my job as Human Resource Director with a fabulous and innovative company when it become evident that the fit was no longer there and traveled for a few months in Europe.
- I’ve entered into and left two marriages. Each “divorce” provided exactly what i needed.
- In April of 2008 I sold my house and “moved” to Mallorca, Spain with the thought of becoming an ex-patriot and learning Spanish. After four months I left and wandered a bit until I landed in Ojai, California for a year.
- Over the next six year years I have been “moved” to move to Oregon, Colorado, Georgia, and now North Carolina. People often ask “Why?” and my most honest answer is “I don’t know.”